I want to make a zoo with you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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