If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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