I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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