Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
