It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
