My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize