Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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