Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
