I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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