I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
