I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
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