wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
