You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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