i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
