I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
