My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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