He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
