it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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