worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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