i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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