The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
