Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
