I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
