i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
