haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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