dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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