i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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