She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
