I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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