I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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