i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
