So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
