11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
