i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
