what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
