fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
