On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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