Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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