I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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