It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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