Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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