Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
