she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
