Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
