Dual....:-)
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
