Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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