I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
