Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
