was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
