Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
