the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
