Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
