his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
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How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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