she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
