:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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