He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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