Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
