my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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