In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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