If i come over, it means nothing
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
porn star boner night. come get it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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