I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize