I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
