You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Let's paint friendship bongs
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
