I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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