she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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