dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
