I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
