Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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