its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think people are normalizing furries
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
