Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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